I wannas sexs uuuuu
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
