Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
