I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
