How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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