Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
