He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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