KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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