before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
