i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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