First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
