Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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