The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
