They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
