i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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