So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
