My balls are so social today.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize