He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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