How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
