Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
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I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
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Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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