I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
