Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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