Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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