Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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