apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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