Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
