u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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