so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
