I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
"it" just moved
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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