The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
