this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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