why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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