just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
