This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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