I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
