I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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