Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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