you traded sex for a burrito?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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