i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
