There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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