i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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