I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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