I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
