no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
