It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
