I think i peed on brittanys purse
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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