You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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