Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
