Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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