I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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