There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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