That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
All I want is dick and wine.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
