WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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