Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
