Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
