Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
