Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
