Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Send help, water and tortillas.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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