My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
