I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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