Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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