I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
