I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
