She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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