god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Swine flu is the new snow day.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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