I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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