my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
