he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you traded sex for a burrito?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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