Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
