That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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