just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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